I was once internally withering away

One could say that everyone is on a journey to mental health. I know I risk controversy because of the stigmas, but I am bold with my assumption because what human isn’t navigating thoughts and actions based on their past, present, and future through some mental or emotional landmine at one point or another? Whether it’s for seasons or a wrestle for life, mental health is real & it needs to be talked about. So thankful the latest issue of Conscious Magazine -- and our current conversations in society -- embrace it spot on. For me —

I swear, counseling changed my path 5 years ago. I had been in NYC for a few years and had become a participant in a textbook definition of unhealthy behaviors & relationships. I am sure I will share more of this part of my story one day, but for now,

I am just forever grateful that longtime friends and especially my family took the time to say to me,

This isn’t the Angela we recognize from all the seasons before. What happened? You need to dive in there and figure it out. Because there’s a root down in there that is guilty of what’s being allowed to live in your life on the surface.

My parents went further in, & lovingly said to me,

We are starting to believe it is something that maybe you cannot discover with us because who knows, maybe some of the seeds are from us. What parent can be perfect.

With the help of a counseling service that adjusts costs pending on your salary, I could first afford & then find more than just help. I found awakening. I found responsibility as a participant & the ability to address the kinks & nurture the deepest parts of me back to life. This changed everything in relationships, in work, in love, & in the fact that I no longer had to live in the everyday prison of toxicity that I had internally let myself spiral into through engaging in these relationships & behaviors for a few years.

What if those loved ones had not asked or had not made it safe to acknowledge I needed to explore this? Or if longtime friends & new friends at the time did not rally around me? Who can say, but

I don’t take it for granted that I never had to find out. But now that I mention it, I’m certain that I’m getting overdue for a tune-up as well because, you know, life & adulting & parenting & dreamssss.